why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
