I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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