Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
