My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
