I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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