I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
