I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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