no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize