If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
