Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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