nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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