there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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