She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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