Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
