She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
