Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
