Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
