Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize