Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Two words: blizzard sex
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
