so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
