In the future we'll all be gay
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
