JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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