please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
