Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
