he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
