i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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