Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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