We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
