wanna go halves on a baby?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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