She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Damn victory sex feels great
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
