she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
