ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
