the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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