so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You have to summon your inner elephant
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
