This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize