Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
