i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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