I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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