I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
