It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
