So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
