Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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