Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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