I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
