I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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