porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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