So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
