Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
