you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
