nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
