So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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