What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
