I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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