i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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