Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
