yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He passed out mid-signature
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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