Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
