Ketchup is God's man juice
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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