very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
